The Upper Cwmbran Temperance League

"Res melius evinissent cum Coca"

I'm one of the sheep
Being sold off cheap
At a bargain price
In the end of stock sales.
Don't know where I'll be sent
Could be Devon or Kent
But please don't let it be Wales

The lake district's nice
Sellafield will suffice
I've heard it's quite safe
If no one inhales.
I'd prefer radiation
Than live with a nation
Of green welly wearers in Wales.

There may be a chance
I'll end up in France
Fricasseed on a plate
With a side dish of snails,
From what I've heard said
I'd be better off dead
Than being transported to Wales.

I'd prefer somewhere flat
But if I can't have that
I'll take Scottish highlands
Or Derbyshire dales.
I'll graze on the peaks
But a diet of leeks
Is the least of my worries in Wales.

Down in yonder green valley
They're a fair bit too pally
Singing we'll keep a welcome
In hillsides and vales.
If I hear them hymns
I'll be crossing my limbs.
You can't take any chances in Wales.

Shepherd Lord I entreat you
Hear the prayer that I bleat you,
Please save your lost sheep
And if all else fails
Let god-butcher bone me
Let god-scientist clone me
But please don't send me to Wales

(The UCTL does not condone any un-natural acts with sheep or indeed any other vertibrate, or even believe that any such practice is prevelant in Wales. We believe it is a slur on the Welsh, created by the English as they are well known to find our sheep quite attractive and of course a lot more intelligent than some english women.)

A local farmer used to keep mountain goats, but that's another story....