The Upper Cwmbran Temperance League Poemsand Limericks By K-9 Return to Home Page Web Editors Note. Since starting this limerick thing I have been getting email after email everyday from K-9, I just cannot keep up with them. So that they don't swamp the site and my computer totally here is a special page for them. I wish he had a proper job. Watch this space!

	There was a young chap called K-Nine Who drank a whole bottle of wine He got grumble-belly His legs turned to jelly But apart from that he was fine !
There was a young teacher called Mark Who had trouble with learning to park He had scratches and bangs .. .. and other small prangs and was even worse in the dark !
	There was a pub landlord named Bob Where variety was part of his job Like cooking a curry Playing pool in a hurry And serving Martinis to Rob.
There was a young lady called Theresa Who slipped and fell into her freezer With prawns and fish fingers The smell kinda lingers And you know that ain't gonna please her.
	There was an old lady from Hull, Who said as she photo'd a bull, "Oh, it's just making friends", Then it crashed through her lens, Proving some people really are dull.
For years and years those NASA chaps were looking for E.T. They said "You bet, we'll find him yet. We know we're right, you'll see" For years and years they searched the sky, the planets and the stars, And finally, as you can see, they found a mouse on Mars !
	There was a wee Scotsman called Robbie, Who liked collecting books as a hobby. He rummaged through sales, Old bookshops in Wales, And even found some in a lobby.
There was a young drummer called Dan, Who set up his kit in Cwmbran, Just like Cozy Powell, In his bass drum, a towel, And some cymbals he bought in Iran.
	There was a young barmaid named Sue, Who caught a bad dose of the flu. She said "It's not fair, I can't wash my hair, And my books are a week overdue."
A cabinet maker called Chris, Is mostly to blame for all this. The U.C.T.L. The website as well, And the Bush Sunday nights on the      .
	A couple called David and Gail, Like winning, that's no fairy tale. With David, it's pool, With Gail, bingo's cool, And neither of them like to fail.
There was a young chap called Dave Ealey, Whose day job was often quite 'steely', But round the pool table He surely was able To pot all the red balls quite freely.
	“With poetry” one clever Dick said “A verse is simply a trick, If four lines will do, You have Clerihew, Add a line and you get Limerick”
Two cows standing in a field, Discussing breeds and health, "I'm Fresian" one cow sighed, And the other one replied, "I'm not too warm myself." Two cows standing in a field, Discussing health and breeds. "I'm a Jersey cow", one said, "And it's for my milk I'm bred". The other sighed "I think I come from Leeds".
	There was a young singer called Kylie Who once did a concert in Filey They surveyed the crowd, Some said she was loud, But most recommended her highly.
A Muppet called Kermit the Frog Was sitting alone on a log. Along came Miss Piggy, Who tried to get jiggy, By giving poor Kermit a snog.
	There was a young family of ducks, Who often went swimming in brooks. As they didn't have fire, They used a hair drier, To regain their cute fluffy looks !
There was a young fox, name of Basil, Who went out one night on a razzle, He tripped on a wire, Fell into a fire, And burnt his poor brush to a frazzle !
	There was a young drummer called Dan, Who set up his kit in Cwmbran, Just like Cozy Powell, In his bass drum, a towel, And some cymbals he bought in Iran.

Links

Border County Kitchens
Newport Uskmouth Sailing Club
LocalEdition for Gwent

The Upper Cwmbran Temperance League was established as The Upper Cwmbran Thrift and Temperance society at Circa 1903